I actually spend a lot of time training the trainers I work with on how to discover their Why.
![]() |
What is Your Why? |
We start with their core values and beliefs. We talk about how they view money, and since many of them are women, we also look at what limiting beliefs they have regarding money. Your limiting beliefs can come from society and your family. Some common ones are that money is evil, men make the money and women run the home or the man should make more. Or the bake sale mentality that you should be happy with what you get. Women tend to not value their skills and abilities and will be the first ones to give things way for free.
Women who do value their skills are often called unflattering names and put down. Some of you may be thinking that doesn't happen anymore or that's such an old way of thinking, but I can tell you I see it everyday.
The process of finding your Why can take many sessions. If you are working with a group it can be one big group session that just builds. It's amazing to see the light bulbs go off and the team work begin!
So up to now I've been talking about how this works in a business setting. But those of you that know me know that I'm always looking at things from different angles.
So let's look at this in terms of getting fit!
The first step is to look at your core beliefs and values. What does being fit mean to you? What are your big and little goals? In a previous Blog post I talked about Action Steps. Your core values guide your Action Steps. Your core values decide how dedicated you are to your success and they help you set your priorities. When I talk to my clients about their Action Steps I know we are on the right track when I touch on the emotion. Sometimes it's crying, sometimes it's getting mad. Sometimes it's just that tilt of the head and the determination in their eyes.
Until you know your values you will be distracted. Your core values become your priorities. You need to keep these visible... On your wall or mirror... Or your pantry!
Do your day-to-day choices follow your intent and agree with your values?
Battle Between Why and Why Not
Once you define your core values... Once you understand your Why. Once you define your Action Steps... you still might not succeed. You have to understand the battle between your Why and your Why Not.
I have found it's the Why Nots that really need to be addressed. These are the limiting beliefs and they can be very strong. They are sabotage!
Have you heard these:
"Women shouldn't lift weights, they will look like a guy."
"It's selfish to spend so much time in the gym, away from kids or family."
"Looking good is being vain or will attract the wrong kind of attention."
"Spending money on personal training or nutrition is wasteful or selfish."
Limiting beliefs can also be our internal dialog.
"I'm just big boned."
"It's too hard."
"Everyone will look at me (and laugh)."
"I don't have the time."
"I always fail so why try."
Until you address these limiting beliefs.. You probably will fail! No matter how strong your Why.
The good news is that your Stumbling Blocks, your Why Nots, are your Stepping Stones
Read that again... your Stumbling Blocks are your Stepping Stones.
Once you realize your limiting beliefs you can use them to grow stronger. To overcome. Once you have identified them they can no longer limit you.
I love taking women out on the weight room floor at 6 pm.

They are surrounded by guys and at first are uncomfortable. Usually by the end of that very first session they are smiling. Because I know several things; first most guys are so busy looking at themselves in the mirror they really don't care who else is there, second if they do notice you they are going to be impressed that you are out there lifting weights, especially with a trainer, and third you are going to be lifting more weights than you thought you could. As your trainer I know you are stronger, on the inside, long before you do!
Working with a group, like in one of my Group PT, 21 Day Belly Buster, or my up coming 12 Week Total Body Transformation, is also extremely effective at battling limiting beliefs! You find that you are not alone in your struggles and the support of the group will carry you when you can't carry yourself! And it's always more fun to suffer through one of my workouts with a friend -virtually or in person!
So are you ready to discover your Whys ... And your Why Nots? Are you ready to finally stop making excuses and get in the best shape of your life? Contact me right now here or visit my website at www.shandravfit.com. And please follow me on Facebook at ShandraV!
It's not too late to join the 21 Day Belly Buster and the next 12 Week Total Body Transformation starts September 2nd!